I know that I have left you wanting more camping story, how C tried to push me off a mountain, and other goodies from the last month, but those will come later.
Today is my Birthday. I'm 41. A number that I can say without regret, overwhelming sadness, or even a whisper. I'm 41 and really liking it. I've had a great day which started with someone trying to let me sleep in, but 2 children later, that's impossible and was just fine with me. I went to MC today and talked with people I hadn't seen in a while, then I was taken out to lunch by 2 friends (thanks again Girls)and home to rest on the couch before getting D off the bus. After I took him into Portland to Daddy's house, I went to C's house for dinner.
That's when I opened my big giant mouth. I have a problem with editing thoughts prior to them coming out of my mouth. It's something that I work on on a daily basis. My friend Nikki just blogged about being absolutely truthful to your partner about things or letting little white lies slip out. Most of the time, I'm truthful, which isn't a bad thing at all, but it's my delivery that is poor and needing adjustment. I need to THINK about my words prior to having them spill forth from my mouth! The minute the words leap forth, I instantly know that they were NOT at all what I wanted to say or how I wanted to say them. And I instantly regret it. I am sorry for how my content came out tonight. It was definitely NOT the time, place or how I wanted to tell you my thoughts.
So, for my 41st year on this planet, I plan on working VERY hard at editing my content. If I'm quiet when talking to you, it is not because I am not listening, perhaps I'm forming the words I want to say within my head first before spewing them out into the world. Just as I reread my blogs prior to publishing, I need to rethink my thoughts before speaking. That is just what I'm going to practice during this 41st year.
I think the biggest struggle in life is recognizing our flaws and making active committments to improving, not just for our sake's, but more importantly to ensure that we don't hurt people with word shrapnel, as may be your case. I wasn't there, so I don't know how bad it was, but if you know you screwed up, that's a start. A sincere apology goes a long way too; another thing with Jason that I sometimes am just too headstrong to give him right away, despite his deserving one! You'll get there. Happy 41 and great that you feel good in that number!
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