Open Letter to ALL Toddlers

I stole this from my friend Traci - I'm sure she won't mind.

An Open Letter to All Toddlers

Dear Toddlers:
We love you kids. Really. Most of the time you're absolutely adorable. That little thing you do when you wrap both your arms around our necks, kiss us on the cheek, and say, "I love you, daddy"? Kills us every time. We can't get enough of that!
We also love that you're speaking coherently now. Life is so much easier now that you can verbalize the fact that wearing green socks makes you go completely insane. Sorry about that. Really, we had no idea. Our bad.
Seeing your imaginations at work these days has been a blast. It's unbelievably cute watching you use the remote control as a telephone. We wish you'd stop hiding it though. Putting it in the refrigerator was a good idea. We never would have looked there.
And who knew you toddlers were so damn funny? We LOVE that "everything is a hat" routine that you do. When you wrapped daddy's jeans around your head, you looked like the cutest little suicide bomber this side of Tehran! And that comedy bit about pretending to eat the dog food is the funniest thing since Eddie Murphy's "Raw." Really, almost everything you do these days totally cracks us up.
But, listen up, my little 3-foot friends.
You're not going to be toddlers forever. Pretty soon, that "being cute" thing is going to start wearing a little thin. You're going to need to back it up with some serious substance. After all, the world is filled with formerly cute kids who couldn't quite cut it at the next level. If you want all this continued love and affection, you're going to need to raise your game.

Here's some advice.

1. Enough with the whining. Nobody likes a whiner. Trust us on this one. Seriously, you've really got to cut that out. It's driving us fucking nuts. Every time you whine (especially in public,) you make us want to leave you on the side of the road. Besides, if you lazy toddlers ever took the time to run a cost/benefit analysis, you'd notice that the whining thing almost never pays off. Service with a smile always works better. Remember that, kiddos.

2. Make a decision and run with it. This waffling has got to stop. You toddlers change your minds faster than Rudy Guiliani changes his politics. Do you want the freaking apple or don't you? Do you want to go in the stroller or not? Do you like looking at the pigeons or do they scare the crap out of you? You're starting to remind us of that schizo ex-girlfriend from college. Never a good sign.

3. Knock off the diva routine. You toddlers have a bit of prima donna in you, n'est-ce pas? I know you're part of the "ME Generation" but many of you behave like some spoiled actor who starts actually believing all the crap his publicists are telling him! So knock off the Sean Preston Federline act, kiddos. We're not rock stars. We're just regular, working parents. No breakfast at noon. No ice cream for lunch. And no 24-hour room service. Ok?

4. It's NOT yours. You seem to have adopted a mantra of "If I can see it, it's mine. If you have it, it's mine. If I think about it, it's mine." Let me tell you something, kiddos. You know when all of us leave in the morning, only to return home 8 hours later? We're at work earning a living. And while we're firm believers in the "mi casa es su casa" philosophy and don't really mind sharing our things with you, you need to ease up a little, ok? That Blackberry? Mine. Those car keys? Mine. The cell phone, the sunglasses, the ipod? Mine, mine, mine. Please keep your peanut-butter-and-jelly fingers off them.

5. Show some gratitude. There is no clean underwear fairy. There is no magic pop tart machine. And vomit doesn't just clean itself up. We have no problem doing all these things for you. Just don't take them for granted. After we've spent the past 4 hours blowing bubbles, drawing Elmo, pushing you on the swing, and wiping the dog poop off your shoes, sometimes we just need to hear a little "thank you" from you so that we don't feel like indentured servants.

Thanks, toddlers. Feel free to take all of this advice with a grain of salt. We really do have your best interests at heart. Besides, in 15 years, you're going to be begging us to buy you a car and you'll totally be sucking up to us.
Our advice? Start now!

Love,
Your parents

P.S. Where the heck did you put my Blackberry?

What to do? Go to the zoo!!

It's Thursday and no new playgroup per se.
What to do, what to do? I know! Go to the zoo!

Packed up the car. We didn't drive far.
We started at the calf, who was all the way in the back half.
OH he was adorable and the mom didn't act horrible.
She was giving a call to her baby so small
A great sound to hear, some people gave a small cheer.
From all around, other elephants gave a trumpeting sound.
With much glee, the baby was fun to see.

Here are the pics from our camera clicks.


I need to add some info here: Oregon is having a zoo referendum on their ballot this November, so they were filming the animals the day we were there to make commercials. The polar bear was licking off something from the windows and was right there close. Even his tongue is bigger than D's head. They were feeding the hippo's apples, so they had their mouths wide open - did I take a picture - NO! Dumb me. Same with the penguins. It just happened that we were at the habitats at the same time they were filming. However, D may be seen in a commercial - we had to sign a waiver at the Polar Bear exhibit.

Change

The Japanese have a term called "kaizen," which means continual improvement. It is a never-ending quest to do better. And you do better by changing. Standing still allows your competitors to get ahead of you.

I guess I'm not afraid of change. I don't understand why others may be resistant to it. Hmmmm, is it the fear of the unknown? I see change as a positive and will always "try it out" before deciding whether it was a good idea or not. My hair is a great example. I was willing to make a change and embraced it.

So, friends, I ask this of you....look toward the positive aspects change can bring to you. Before you judge, take some time and see if the change works. If you're not happy with the change made, then get involved and make some changes yourself.

To prevent yourself or your organization from becoming "stranded on the mudflats of an obsolete ideology", you must become a champion of change.

Remembering 9/11

Being in Illinois at the time, I was only 1 hour behind the East Coast. I was getting ready for work and had the TV on to the Today show. I didn't have to be to work until 9am, and worked just a mile from home. I remember hearing about the first plane crashing into the tower while putting on my makeup. Then the second plane hit while I was watching the TV. It was then that Matt Lauer or someone stated that we may be under attack. I called M at work and told him what had happened and that the US was under attack.

Went to work and luckily we had a TV. My boss hadn't heard anything, so we turned on the TV and watched in stunned silence. The TV stayed on all day and for the rest of the week.

That afternoon, M and I had an appointment sign paperwork on a house we were going to build in another town. We went to the appointment. 2 days later we canceled the contract b/c we were unsure about the state of the world. Can you believe that the builder had the gaul to KEEP our earnest money?!!! Cheap bastards!

I also remember the erie silence from not having planes flying overhead for the next 3-4 days.

I am no Martha

Although I try to be like the great Martha Stewart, I just cannot be. I took down the two front window blinds today b/c they were FILTHY and needed to be cleaned. I hauled them upstairs for a bath in the tub. This is where I am no Martha.

As I took a scrub brush to the slats, all I could think of was stupid MS. How would she clean these blinds? She, of course, would meticulously scrub each and every slat - on both sides. Then she'd probably take a soft (always white) cloth or perhaps a soft tooth brush and scrub each inch of the strings. She'd never pay attention to the backache forming from stooping over the tub and each slat would then be dried by another pristine white cloth.

Yea, that didn't happen. I did scrub the blinds with a brush, but I probably missed more area's than I hit. Mostly, I swished those blinds around the water hoping that Mr. Clean will get the grim off himself. AND, who am I kidding, MS wouldn't wash them in a tub, she'd probably have a special cleaning area just for blinds. AND, more importantly, she'd have someone else clean the blinds.

Ummmm, I am working....hard!

About 2 months ago, D came down with a fever illness that sidelined me from going to the gym for 2 weeks. THEN, I came down with a cold and then I did something to my shoulder. SOOOO, I haven't been to the gym in 2 months - at least!

I went back today. UGH! It was hard. It was hard to get motivated to go and then the workout was hard too. My shoulder still hurts, but I'm tired of not going to the gym and the Chiro can't really determine what is wrong, so I decided that gaining 5lbs was not good.

As one imagines, not exercising for months takes its toll on the body. I was struggling during class. I take a Power Circuit class where we have different aerobic type stations with a small group and work for 3-5 min. Like jumping rope or running up and down stairs. I'd do a small amount of work, then have to either walk a bit or get some water - just to catch my breath. But I was working and working hard.

In between the circuits the instructor usually has us do some weights, push-ups or some other form of muscle building torture. During one segment, she had us do push-ups. I tried to do one, but it really hurt my shoulder, so I opted not to do more. The instructor questioned me and I told her about the shoulder. She then chided me about my performance...."um, most of the activities today didn't require you to use your shoulder". OK, if this wasn't an instructor that I knew pretty well and I know her sense of humor I'd be offended, but I brushed it off and continued.

My legs are putty, my back hurts, I'm sweaty and feeling great!! Those endorphins are great things to make you feel good.

I'm back again for another round of torture on Wednesday!!

And he's off....

So today started out normal as usual, except that I didn't come downstairs and read the news on the computer. Instead I jumped into the shower right away. It was a very important day. First day at PRESCHOOL!! I was afraid that today wouldn't happen b/c yesterday D had 1 bout of diarrhea. YES YES YES, I know you're supposed to keep them home for 24 hours and I would have kept him IF he had another run in with the runs, but it was just the one time. PHEW!

Off we went to preschool. Here is the picture of his first day. YEA!!



He was very excited to see Daddy when we picked him up. He couldn't really tell us what he did, but the few things we got out of him, the red mustache and the papers sent home, seems like he had a good time. Back to school again on Tuesday!!

15.5 hours and counting

**Sniff sniff** My big boy starts preschool tomorrow. In 15.5 hours to be exact. OMG!! HOW?!?! Where has the time gone? My baby is getting bigger. I may not let go of him. I may have a tantrum right there and the teachers are going to have to pry my hands off of him.

I know in a few months, it'll be the school sending me a notification that peeling out of the parking lot at school is not allowed, but for now, sniff sniff, my baby is going to school!!

Adding to another blog....

My friend, Nikki, blogged (That's My Whine) today regarding the antenna balls and their recent resurgence in our society and it got me thinking....

I've noticed that the Jesus Fish symbol attached to cars is not as prominent as it once was. HOWEVER, it's being replaced. The new sticker I see simply says Only God. It's a simple sticker in black with white letters or just the opposite. hmmmm... I'm not a huge fan of bumper stickers myself, but I do love to read the occasional funny unique ones. It's the MOPAR, Calvin peeing on a Chevy symbol (or any car symbol), or the weird font window stickers that I question. WHY? OHHHH and the newest WHY....the family stickers on the back of mini-vans of course. You know the ones - it has stick figures of Mom, Dad and the kids, dog, cats, fish, hamster, rat, bird....etc. I've seen ones that, I swear, are the entire family tree!! No one has that many kids and don't have their own TV show on TLC.