Thursday, July 31, 2008

**WARNING** not for children who can read

THE MOST FUNCTIONAL ENGLISH WORD...

HOPE THIS MAKES YOU SMILE

Well, it's shit ... that's right, shit!
Shit may just be the most functional word in the English language.

You can smoke shit, buy shit, sell shit, lose shit, find shit, forget shit, and tell others to eat shit.

Some people know their shit, while others can't tell the difference between shit and shineola.

There are lucky shits, dumb shits, and crazy shits. There is bull shit, horse shit, and chicken shit.

You can throw shit, sling shit, catch shit, shoot the shit, or duck when the shit hits the fan.

You can give a shit or serve shit on a shingle.

You can find yourself in deep shit or be happier than a pig in shit.

Some days are colder than shit, some days are hotter than shit, and some days are just plain shitty.

Some music sounds like shit, things can look like shit, and there are times when you feel like shit.

You can have too much shit, not enough shit, the right shit, the wrong shit or a lot of weird shit.

You can carry shit, have a mountain of shit, or find yourself up shit creek without a paddle.

Sometimes everything you touch turns to shit and other times you fall in a bucket of shit and come out smelling like a rose.

When you stop to consider all the facts, it's the basic building block of the English language.

And remember, once you know your shit, you don't need to know anything else!!

You could pass this along, if you give a shit; or not do so if you don't give a shit!

Well, Shit, it's time for me to go.

Just wanted you to know that I do give a shit and hope you had a nice day, without a bunch of shit. But, if you happened to catch a load of shit from some shit-head...........

Well, Shit Happens!!!

Monday, July 28, 2008

Cakes

As many of you know, I bake cakes for other people. I make myself crazy while trying to complete them, but the reward of seeing them complete is AWESOME!!!

Here are a couple that I completed in the last few days. And some from the past.







Saturday, July 26, 2008

Maybe I say it too often

D has a new saying: That's OK. It happens. AND, the funniest part is that he knows how and when to use the phrase properly. Apparently, I use this phrase often.

Something else that has also "sunk in" is potty training. I was on the computer this morning and I heard D playing with his dino's in the TV room. Here is what I heard:

"No going pee pee in your pants"
"Makes mommy and daddy mad, and me too"
"You go pee pee in the potty"
"Is pee pee coming? You tell me when it coming"
"That's OK. It happens"

During this monologue I peeked my head around the corner to see what/who he was talking to. He was potty training his dinosaurs!! Yep, he had them lined up in front of him and telling them about going potty.

Apparently, potty training is now ingrained into my poor child's head.

Friday, July 25, 2008

MIA - Search Party on Standby

I'm headed to the DMV today....well, not the DMV proper, but I have to get the car emissions done and get new plate tags today. AND, I have to take D with me. I may go insane.

IF you do not hear from me, send a search party. I'll need food, water, and rescuing if not heard from in days.


****UPDATE****

I survived and, surprisingly, was in and out of BOTH places in less than 1/2 hour!! Pulled up to the emission testing and got right in. That took about 10 min total. Then went next door to the DMV and there was NO line for renewing plates!! YES!! It was my lucky day.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

It's the new spa treatment?




Last week as I mentioned in a previous blog, I was not feeling well at all. I was achy, headache and tired. I decided on Wednesday to go and take a hot bath. I stuck in a movie for D and proceeded to fill the tub....with bubbles too.

I got into the bath with my book and started reading when I was visited by D (it may have been 32.5 seconds of alone time). He wanted to help wash Mommy. I gave him the washcloth and he washed my shoulder, arm and knee - the 3 body parts sticking out of the water at the time. Once he got bored, he left the bathroom (YES, alone time) only to return a minute later sans pants, underwear and socks (DAMN!). He can't quite figure out how to remove his shirts yet. He wants to get into the tub with Mommy. After much protesting, on my part, I took off his shirt and he climbed in.

We played for about 5-10 min and then I had had enough. I got out. So much for my relaxing bath. I was in and out of the bathroom for the next few minutes while getting dressed and finally D stated that he was all done and wanted out. I got him out of the tub and dried him off, these day's he prefers to go naked, so I asked him if he had to go potty.

"no. No pee pee coming" he said
"Oh, it's been a long time since you've gone, why don't you try" I say
"No, mommy" he whines as he's looking into the bathtub "I already went pee pee." "Pee pee in the bathtub with Mommy."

Yes folks, he pee'd in the tub while Mommy was still in it. I remind you, I'm FULLY dressed and still feel like crud when he informs me of this. The last thing I want to do is go and take a shower - I'm too tired. So I chalked up the pee pee to being a new type of spa treatment that's good for my skin. Plus, really, the 2-3Tbsp of pee mixed in with ALL of that water really isn't that bad. Just gross to think about.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Heeeeeere's Martha!!

Martha Stewart that is. I'm thinking about changing my name after my evening last night. I made (SUCCESSFULLY) homemade raspberry preserves. Jarred and everything!! AND it tastes fantastic!

One of my MOMS Club friends sent out an email a while ago about purchasing berries in bulk. The local Rotary club was offering fresh picked raspberries, strawberries or marionberries for CHEAP! I bought 5lbs of raspberries for $11.

So the other day, I bought jars, researched recipes and canning methods. Last night I took out my big pot and got to work. WOW! It was easy. M and I had to switch off stirring the pot cuz it requires constant stirring until the berries boil. Well, if I wanted any arm hair I needed someone to take over.

Here is the result of my labor. I'm very excited that all the jars are sealed properly too!


OH! I had some on toast this morning for breakfast.....YUMMY YUMMY! Step aside Martha, I'm getting my canning on!

Saturday, July 19, 2008

I'm SOOO pretty!! (warning about pictures)

The illness that D had last week has transferred to ME!! YIPPPEEE!!! Now, instead of being the supermodel mommy, I've been reduced to this:



Yes, that is a raging case of pink eye! Hurting, burning, watering pink eye!! YUCK! This is the worst case I've had so far. So, I went off to the Dr. this morning cuz the medication that I have from previous bouts is not working. SO, a stronger prescription was ordered.

Fun fun!! I'm off to put some warm compresses on my eye.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Loves the chair

On Sunday we went out and bought new bedroom furniture. At the store there were these cool chairs for kids, well, M being a sucker, bought one for D. It's a soccer ball chair. It's round like a soccer ball, has all the markings and the foot stool is just like a soccer ball. D LOVES the chair.

So much so that the other night, this is how we found him sleeping.





His blanket is covering the foot stool, but that's what his lower body is on.

Friday, July 11, 2008

Reality TV

Survivor


I have been addicted to Reality TV since the inception of The Real World on MTV. But it didn't really hit me until Survivor started. I'm a loyal fan. Every Thursday at 8pm, I'm glued to the TV to watch.

Fancy that I meet a friend out here who is also addicted. So much so, that she wants to be ON the show. Since I met Catrina almost a year ago, she's been talking about getting onto the show. Guess what? We got her application and video done!! WHOO HOOOO!!! The deadline for it to be completed is Tuesday the 15th. She Priority Mailed it today. No problem for it not to make it on time.

I think the angle we took with her video application was a good one. We went with SHOCK value rather than just blathering on about who she is. It was decided that we needed to utilize the I was once married and have 2 kids, now I'm divorced and came out angle. That may offend some people, but HEY if it gets her on the show....SO WHAT!! Outwit, outplay and outlast.

My friend applied to be on Survivor!! How cool is that!!??

Sick and tired of being sick and tired.

Today was the last straw!! We're on day 4 of fevers and now D has diarrhea - BAD! I called the dr at 8am and got an appt. for 9am. It was 8:15. QUICK - get into the shower! So I leave D on the couch while I go get ready. I come downstairs ready at 8:40 (I said it was going to be a quick shower) and here is what I find.










Poor little man! AND I had to be the bad guy and wake him up to get him dressed and into the car.
So, he has a virus. Can't do anything for a virus. Just have to let it run it's course. GREAT!! The best thing is that the dr. said that the diarrhea can last for several more days. EXCELLENT!! Even more days stuck inside the house.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Cherry on top of the sundae

D is still feeling miserable and having fevers. Hopefully today is IT. Last evening we thought we were done with this cuz D was outside wanting to hit baseballs. We did that for about 30 min. Then we just rolled the ball down the driveway.

BUT, the cherry on top of the sundae is that D fell and skinned both knee's. BAD. So not only today is he still feeling poorly from being sick, but now his knees hurt him. He doesn't understand that, yes, they are going to hurt to move for just a little bit, but the more you move them, the less they'll hurt. He's not wanting to hear that. Instead, he's walking around like a little old man on bent knee's. Mostly he wants to be carried like the Prince he believes himself to be, but Mamma isn't having that today.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Poor Little Man

Today is the nicest day we've had in a few weeks and, of course, D is sick. VERY sick. He's had a stuffy nose for a couple of days and a raspy voice, but I couldn't tell if it was allergies or a cold. Well, today, I can say for sure that it's not allergies. He's got a fever - 104 has been the highest today.

Oh, he's just pathetic looking. He's just laying on the couch (we're on movie #3 today), sometimes shivering violently and has a glassy look in his eyes. He doesn't want anything to eat, but will drink, so I'm ok with that. I'm guessing that his throat hurts. He wet through a diaper at nap time, so I'm not concerned about his liquid intake.

It's so hard as a Mother to see your child feeling so rotten. All he wants is for me to take away his misery and I can't. The medicine works for a while, then starts to wear off.

No going to the beach tomorrow. No parks for a few days. It's going to be a LONG week.

Saturday, July 5, 2008

Done

Cross my fingers and slap me silly, but I do believe that I can officially declare that D is potty trained!! Well, at least for Number 1, number 2 still has yet to make an appearance.

There has only been 1 accident in 3 days which included an entire day, today, being dragged from one store to another. YIPPEEE. His accident occurred yesterday at the 4th of July party we were at. He must have been playing too hard and forgot.

I'll never forget the look on his little face when he told me. He walked up to me with his head hung low and mumbled something. I asked him to repeat it, and he stated that he was wet. I thought perhaps it was from the bubbles he was playing with, but then his hand went to his pants. He looked up at me with the saddest puppy dog eyes and remorse probably thinking that he was going to have to go home. No, I didn't take him home like I threatened to, I took him inside and peeled off the wet clothes and put on new shorts I had in my purse.

Apparently, instead of carrying around diapers and wipes, I now carry around MORE stuff. Clean underwear, pants AND wipes....oh, and a grocery bag to put the wet clothing in. The wipes are for....er...um....any solids.

****Amendment*****
As of 10am this morning, we have poo poo in the potty!! WHOOO HOOOO!!!! He went all by himself, didn't tell us until he was done.

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Potty Training Made Simple

I think I found D's motivation to FINALLY pee pee in the potty. THE PARK!! On Tuesday afternoon, I had a playdate at a park. Well, bad mommy, forgot to change D's diaper before we left. I have no idea how his diaper got sooooo full, but it was actually leaking. Again, bad mommy, forgot to bring diapers with me, so I had him go commando under his shorts. BUT, I told him that he HAD to tell me when pee pee was coming cuz if he wet his pants, we'd have to go home and no more park.

I kept asking if he needed to go...no no no. So we walked quite a ways down to the river, played in the sand/water and started walking back when he told me he had to pee. Down came his shorts and I had him pee in the grass. SUCCESS!! Plus, he thought it was fun to pee in the grass like the dogs. HA HA HA.

Today, I decided to test my theory on his motivation to be at a park and not wet his pants. Our regularly scheduled playgroup was meeting at a park, so I put D in underwear (Mickey Mouse if you wanted to know) and again reminded him that if he had to pee to come tell me. That if he wet his pants, we'd have to go home and no park. Once again, lots of "do you have to potty?" questions and lots of "no" answers. Finally, I had to go, so I dragged D into the bathroom. SUCCESS again!! He went. Kept his underwear dry for 4 hours today until nap time when I put a diaper on him.

This afternoon, we'll be pool side in the backyard, so I'll just have him in his bathing suit. We'll see what success I have.

I'm excited!! This may work!! I'm off to the park again tomorrow morning to see if this will get him to potty train!!