I'll start with the darned dog. More than 3 weeks ago, Dakota had surgery on his foot to, hopefully, fix this thing that keeps happening. Months ago, I wrote about Dakota having that pine branch stuck in his paw. Well, the site kept getting infected with this pussy ball thing (almost like a pimple). The Vet gave us more antibiotics (and it would go away, but return) so finally she stated that maybe she needs to really open up the area and make sure that ALL debris is gone. WELLLLLL - the puss ball is back again!! grrrrrrr. Poor Dakota is back to wearing his cone around his head and back on antibiotics. I just don't know what to do. I'm keeping his cone on his head until I know all the infection is gone.
Sickie number 2 - D. He has CROUP. There is no mistaking the barking seal cough that they get. Plus he keeps getting a fever. We're on day 2.5 of this, so today my job is to disinfect this house. It's supposed to warm up a bit this afternoon, so windows will be opened and bleach water will be wiped over all surfaces, doorknobs and light switches. I want to be rid of this virus as fast as possible. I ran to the movie store yesterday and rented a couple movies for him, we've watched them 3-4 times each already. I can't have D play too much b/c any activity starts him coughing and croup is not an illness where coughing is good.
Vaporizor - CHECK
Apple Juice - CHECK
Vodka - almost empty....er....I mean.....hiccup.
Clorox, here I come.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Monday, October 6, 2008
Why did the chicken cross the road?
BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for change! The chicken wanted change!
JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One! that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either for us or against us. There is no middle road here.
DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
SARAH PALIN: Where's MY gun? That chicken's got no choice!
COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty ! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay, too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side.' That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.
EVERYONE'S GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one???
JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One! that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either for us or against us. There is no middle road here.
DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
SARAH PALIN: Where's MY gun? That chicken's got no choice!
COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty ! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay, too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side.' That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.
EVERYONE'S GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one???
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Run Forrest....er...Christine Run!!!!
I had a friend running in the Portland marathon today. I got this CRAZY idea to go cheer her along the way and ended up having a GREAT time!! I called up a mutual friend this morning to see if she wanted to go and away we went. Thank goodness for GPS.
So, we started at mile 17.5.....well, we started the wait at mile 17.5. When we got there, Christine was only at mile 14/15...and walking! So, we waited and waited. We saw all sorts of people running, old, young, fat, skinny. Christine and I kept in touch via phone and texts. Then she went running by.
I thought that would be it. I mean, it is raining today and pretty cold - in the 50's. Nope, we decided to mosey onto another spot. We ended up at mile 24 with LOTS of time to spare, so we walked around Portland for a while. While doing this we happened upon an Office Max and being cold we went in. It was there we decided to buy materials for a sign.
Sign made, we went back to the marathon and waited. Christine was more than surprised with our being there, but also the sign!! We were on top of a bridge, so she went by and we then went down the stairs to meet her again when she passed under the bridge. We saw all the same people running, they probably thought we were a bit strange for being at 3 different places. Christine was GREATLY surprised by our presence again. This time, she hugged us. She was so happy to have friends out to support her.
Standing in the rain for hours at a time doesn't sound like fun, but when it in support of a friend, it's well worth it.
So, we started at mile 17.5.....well, we started the wait at mile 17.5. When we got there, Christine was only at mile 14/15...and walking! So, we waited and waited. We saw all sorts of people running, old, young, fat, skinny. Christine and I kept in touch via phone and texts. Then she went running by.
I thought that would be it. I mean, it is raining today and pretty cold - in the 50's. Nope, we decided to mosey onto another spot. We ended up at mile 24 with LOTS of time to spare, so we walked around Portland for a while. While doing this we happened upon an Office Max and being cold we went in. It was there we decided to buy materials for a sign.
Sign made, we went back to the marathon and waited. Christine was more than surprised with our being there, but also the sign!! We were on top of a bridge, so she went by and we then went down the stairs to meet her again when she passed under the bridge. We saw all the same people running, they probably thought we were a bit strange for being at 3 different places. Christine was GREATLY surprised by our presence again. This time, she hugged us. She was so happy to have friends out to support her.
Standing in the rain for hours at a time doesn't sound like fun, but when it in support of a friend, it's well worth it.
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Friday, October 3, 2008
No Privacy - Oh! I have boobs!!
You know, it's bad enough that I can't even go to the bathroom by myself anymore. Instead I have an inquisitive 3yo asking me questions ranging from what he's watching on TV to why Mommy doesn't have Lightening McQueen underwear.
NOW, my last private alone time has been compromised. The shower. D all of a sudden has an interest in taking a shower - with ME!!! For the last few days, I cannot take a nice HOT shower where I can be quiet with my thoughts and let hot water wash my cares away. Nope, now it's all about luke warm water and answering another gazillion questions. D finally realized that mommy has breasts today. "Mommy, is that?" he asked. As if I only have one. After some simple questioning, I finally realized what he was talking about. Then he stated that mine were bigger (duh), that I had two and that when he gets bigger than his will get bigger. hmmmmmm.....
Looking at his sweet face, I couldn't crush his dreams of bigger breasts. He has plenty of time to realize and learn that he won't get boobs like mom.
Ho-hum. I know that in 10 years I'll be complaining that I don't have any hot water at all b/c he'll have used it all during his OWN shower.
NOW, my last private alone time has been compromised. The shower. D all of a sudden has an interest in taking a shower - with ME!!! For the last few days, I cannot take a nice HOT shower where I can be quiet with my thoughts and let hot water wash my cares away. Nope, now it's all about luke warm water and answering another gazillion questions. D finally realized that mommy has breasts today. "Mommy, is that?" he asked. As if I only have one. After some simple questioning, I finally realized what he was talking about. Then he stated that mine were bigger (duh), that I had two and that when he gets bigger than his will get bigger. hmmmmmm.....
Looking at his sweet face, I couldn't crush his dreams of bigger breasts. He has plenty of time to realize and learn that he won't get boobs like mom.
Ho-hum. I know that in 10 years I'll be complaining that I don't have any hot water at all b/c he'll have used it all during his OWN shower.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Open Letter to ALL Toddlers
I stole this from my friend Traci - I'm sure she won't mind.
An Open Letter to All Toddlers
Dear Toddlers:
We love you kids. Really. Most of the time you're absolutely adorable. That little thing you do when you wrap both your arms around our necks, kiss us on the cheek, and say, "I love you, daddy"? Kills us every time. We can't get enough of that!
We also love that you're speaking coherently now. Life is so much easier now that you can verbalize the fact that wearing green socks makes you go completely insane. Sorry about that. Really, we had no idea. Our bad.
Seeing your imaginations at work these days has been a blast. It's unbelievably cute watching you use the remote control as a telephone. We wish you'd stop hiding it though. Putting it in the refrigerator was a good idea. We never would have looked there.
And who knew you toddlers were so damn funny? We LOVE that "everything is a hat" routine that you do. When you wrapped daddy's jeans around your head, you looked like the cutest little suicide bomber this side of Tehran! And that comedy bit about pretending to eat the dog food is the funniest thing since Eddie Murphy's "Raw." Really, almost everything you do these days totally cracks us up.
But, listen up, my little 3-foot friends.
You're not going to be toddlers forever. Pretty soon, that "being cute" thing is going to start wearing a little thin. You're going to need to back it up with some serious substance. After all, the world is filled with formerly cute kids who couldn't quite cut it at the next level. If you want all this continued love and affection, you're going to need to raise your game.
Here's some advice.
1. Enough with the whining. Nobody likes a whiner. Trust us on this one. Seriously, you've really got to cut that out. It's driving us fucking nuts. Every time you whine (especially in public,) you make us want to leave you on the side of the road. Besides, if you lazy toddlers ever took the time to run a cost/benefit analysis, you'd notice that the whining thing almost never pays off. Service with a smile always works better. Remember that, kiddos.
2. Make a decision and run with it. This waffling has got to stop. You toddlers change your minds faster than Rudy Guiliani changes his politics. Do you want the freaking apple or don't you? Do you want to go in the stroller or not? Do you like looking at the pigeons or do they scare the crap out of you? You're starting to remind us of that schizo ex-girlfriend from college. Never a good sign.
3. Knock off the diva routine. You toddlers have a bit of prima donna in you, n'est-ce pas? I know you're part of the "ME Generation" but many of you behave like some spoiled actor who starts actually believing all the crap his publicists are telling him! So knock off the Sean Preston Federline act, kiddos. We're not rock stars. We're just regular, working parents. No breakfast at noon. No ice cream for lunch. And no 24-hour room service. Ok?
4. It's NOT yours. You seem to have adopted a mantra of "If I can see it, it's mine. If you have it, it's mine. If I think about it, it's mine." Let me tell you something, kiddos. You know when all of us leave in the morning, only to return home 8 hours later? We're at work earning a living. And while we're firm believers in the "mi casa es su casa" philosophy and don't really mind sharing our things with you, you need to ease up a little, ok? That Blackberry? Mine. Those car keys? Mine. The cell phone, the sunglasses, the ipod? Mine, mine, mine. Please keep your peanut-butter-and-jelly fingers off them.
5. Show some gratitude. There is no clean underwear fairy. There is no magic pop tart machine. And vomit doesn't just clean itself up. We have no problem doing all these things for you. Just don't take them for granted. After we've spent the past 4 hours blowing bubbles, drawing Elmo, pushing you on the swing, and wiping the dog poop off your shoes, sometimes we just need to hear a little "thank you" from you so that we don't feel like indentured servants.
Thanks, toddlers. Feel free to take all of this advice with a grain of salt. We really do have your best interests at heart. Besides, in 15 years, you're going to be begging us to buy you a car and you'll totally be sucking up to us.
Our advice? Start now!
Love,
Your parents
P.S. Where the heck did you put my Blackberry?
An Open Letter to All Toddlers
Dear Toddlers:
We love you kids. Really. Most of the time you're absolutely adorable. That little thing you do when you wrap both your arms around our necks, kiss us on the cheek, and say, "I love you, daddy"? Kills us every time. We can't get enough of that!
We also love that you're speaking coherently now. Life is so much easier now that you can verbalize the fact that wearing green socks makes you go completely insane. Sorry about that. Really, we had no idea. Our bad.
Seeing your imaginations at work these days has been a blast. It's unbelievably cute watching you use the remote control as a telephone. We wish you'd stop hiding it though. Putting it in the refrigerator was a good idea. We never would have looked there.
And who knew you toddlers were so damn funny? We LOVE that "everything is a hat" routine that you do. When you wrapped daddy's jeans around your head, you looked like the cutest little suicide bomber this side of Tehran! And that comedy bit about pretending to eat the dog food is the funniest thing since Eddie Murphy's "Raw." Really, almost everything you do these days totally cracks us up.
But, listen up, my little 3-foot friends.
You're not going to be toddlers forever. Pretty soon, that "being cute" thing is going to start wearing a little thin. You're going to need to back it up with some serious substance. After all, the world is filled with formerly cute kids who couldn't quite cut it at the next level. If you want all this continued love and affection, you're going to need to raise your game.
Here's some advice.
1. Enough with the whining. Nobody likes a whiner. Trust us on this one. Seriously, you've really got to cut that out. It's driving us fucking nuts. Every time you whine (especially in public,) you make us want to leave you on the side of the road. Besides, if you lazy toddlers ever took the time to run a cost/benefit analysis, you'd notice that the whining thing almost never pays off. Service with a smile always works better. Remember that, kiddos.
2. Make a decision and run with it. This waffling has got to stop. You toddlers change your minds faster than Rudy Guiliani changes his politics. Do you want the freaking apple or don't you? Do you want to go in the stroller or not? Do you like looking at the pigeons or do they scare the crap out of you? You're starting to remind us of that schizo ex-girlfriend from college. Never a good sign.
3. Knock off the diva routine. You toddlers have a bit of prima donna in you, n'est-ce pas? I know you're part of the "ME Generation" but many of you behave like some spoiled actor who starts actually believing all the crap his publicists are telling him! So knock off the Sean Preston Federline act, kiddos. We're not rock stars. We're just regular, working parents. No breakfast at noon. No ice cream for lunch. And no 24-hour room service. Ok?
4. It's NOT yours. You seem to have adopted a mantra of "If I can see it, it's mine. If you have it, it's mine. If I think about it, it's mine." Let me tell you something, kiddos. You know when all of us leave in the morning, only to return home 8 hours later? We're at work earning a living. And while we're firm believers in the "mi casa es su casa" philosophy and don't really mind sharing our things with you, you need to ease up a little, ok? That Blackberry? Mine. Those car keys? Mine. The cell phone, the sunglasses, the ipod? Mine, mine, mine. Please keep your peanut-butter-and-jelly fingers off them.
5. Show some gratitude. There is no clean underwear fairy. There is no magic pop tart machine. And vomit doesn't just clean itself up. We have no problem doing all these things for you. Just don't take them for granted. After we've spent the past 4 hours blowing bubbles, drawing Elmo, pushing you on the swing, and wiping the dog poop off your shoes, sometimes we just need to hear a little "thank you" from you so that we don't feel like indentured servants.
Thanks, toddlers. Feel free to take all of this advice with a grain of salt. We really do have your best interests at heart. Besides, in 15 years, you're going to be begging us to buy you a car and you'll totally be sucking up to us.
Our advice? Start now!
Love,
Your parents
P.S. Where the heck did you put my Blackberry?
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
What to do? Go to the zoo!!
It's Thursday and no new playgroup per se.
What to do, what to do? I know! Go to the zoo!
Packed up the car. We didn't drive far.
We started at the calf, who was all the way in the back half.
OH he was adorable and the mom didn't act horrible.
She was giving a call to her baby so small
A great sound to hear, some people gave a small cheer.
From all around, other elephants gave a trumpeting sound.
With much glee, the baby was fun to see.
Here are the pics from our camera clicks.
I need to add some info here: Oregon is having a zoo referendum on their ballot this November, so they were filming the animals the day we were there to make commercials. The polar bear was licking off something from the windows and was right there close. Even his tongue is bigger than D's head. They were feeding the hippo's apples, so they had their mouths wide open - did I take a picture - NO! Dumb me. Same with the penguins. It just happened that we were at the habitats at the same time they were filming. However, D may be seen in a commercial - we had to sign a waiver at the Polar Bear exhibit.
What to do, what to do? I know! Go to the zoo!
Packed up the car. We didn't drive far.
We started at the calf, who was all the way in the back half.
OH he was adorable and the mom didn't act horrible.
She was giving a call to her baby so small
A great sound to hear, some people gave a small cheer.
From all around, other elephants gave a trumpeting sound.
With much glee, the baby was fun to see.
Here are the pics from our camera clicks.
I need to add some info here: Oregon is having a zoo referendum on their ballot this November, so they were filming the animals the day we were there to make commercials. The polar bear was licking off something from the windows and was right there close. Even his tongue is bigger than D's head. They were feeding the hippo's apples, so they had their mouths wide open - did I take a picture - NO! Dumb me. Same with the penguins. It just happened that we were at the habitats at the same time they were filming. However, D may be seen in a commercial - we had to sign a waiver at the Polar Bear exhibit.
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