Inconceivable

Infertility - it's that "taboo" thing that people don't talk about. Instead it's whispered about, discussed in the media negatively when a woman has 8 babies or worse, not even discussed. EXCEPT infertility (IF) affects more people in this country than breast cancer. No, I'm not comparing infertility to having cancer, I wanted to show the stats, cuz we know the stats for women developing breast cancer.

I suffered through infertility - unexplained infertility. D is my 4th pg, but my only child and multiple dr's could not tell us why we couldn't get pg or why I couldn't maintain a pg. It's a hard, painful and emotional road to walk. It involves many dr. appts, shots, tests, being poked and prodded in so many ways and having the ups and downs of negative and positive pg results.  The yearning to have a baby is strong - especially when you suddenly realize that you can't!  The loss of control within your own body all the while having dr's and nurses telling you exactly what's going to happen takes its toll. 

If you haven't experienced IF please try to put yourself into this thinking mode. You're sooo excited to start trying for a baby. Every month you think "this is it" and then your period starts and you're sad.  You read everything on the internet regarding how to get pg...what foods to avoid, supplements to take, charting your cycle...etc.  Now, experience all of that month after month for perhaps years. Then you see multiple dr's, try different drugs that make you feel like you're going crazy, only to have the same things happen.

Luckily soon after I started the journey of trying for a baby I found a web board completely devoted to infertility. The women who belong to this VERY LARGE webboard have been through it all and are a great resource for everyday things.   There there is a core group of about 20,  it's been 11 years and we're still going strong. I have 'met' some wonderful people - some even in real life and I consider all of them friends. I'm here today to talk about one of my friends stories. Well, to promote her story and it is even more painful than anyone could imagine.

My friend C and her husband decided to use their frozen embryo's to have another baby. Their fresh cycle years before had been successful, so there was no reason that she shouldn't get pg with the embies they had saved. C went through all of the tests, drugs and procedures to ready her body for the transfer of these embryo's.  The embryo's had survived the "thaw" and 2 were transferred into C's uterus.   The 2 week wait began and ended up with a BIG FAT POSITIVE!!!  YIPPPEEEEEE!   She was thrilled.....until.

She and her husband, S, were told some devistating news, the baby that she was carrying was not hers.  The fertility clinic had thawed the wrong embryo's and transferred them to her.....and now she was pg with a baby that was not theirs.  Not only did the clinic thaw the wrong embies for her procedure, but the embryo's that C had frozen had been thawed and used in a failed cycle for another couple.   WHOOPS - I apparently had my info incorrect.   C's embies were not thawed by accident, but rather used by she and her hubby in a surrogate in which the surrogate did not conceive.  C and S made the ultimate sacrifice, they decided to proceed with the pg and deliver the baby only to turn around and give the baby to the couple which the embies belonged.  To terminate the pg means another couple has no chance to try for another baby, and C has NO chance to try for another cycle because her embryo's were already gone.  C and S not only had to suffer the loss of their embryo's, but then to make a difficult decision.

C gave birth to a health full term baby boy just over a year ago.  He is thriving in with his family, but that does not erase the pain that C and her family are experiencing every day.  Her pain cannot even be compared to a woman who decides that adoption is the best course for her baby because, I'm sure, that that woman has not experienced years of IF treatments and the deep yearning of having a baby. 

C and S's story will be profiled tonight (Friday, Feb 11) on Dateline NBC.  C and S have also written a book which will be coming out on Monday.  I know that I have cried many tears reading C's posts on our board, so I know I will be watching.  C is a dear friend who has experienced a loss that I could never imagine. 

Here is the youtube footage for tonight's Dateline.  I hope people watch and learn what true strength really is. 
http://www.youtube.com/user/carolynandseansavage?feature=mhum

Their book Inconceivable - A Medical Mistake, the Baby We Couldn't Keep, and Our Decision to Deliver the Ultimate Gift  goes on sale Monday.

Does the hair do do?

It may be that my little boy has a crush on a fellow classmate. I didn't really think anything of it until I was talking to D's teacher after class today.

As our typical mornings that I have to get ready for work, the routine is D eats breakfast, gets dressed and then brushes his teeth. Last night was bath night and he woke with a bit of a bed-head do. In the last few months, he's been taming his rooster look with some water, as he did today. However, he also parted his hair on the side and slicked it over. I was standing in the kitchen making his lunch and he appeared to ask how his hair looked. I said it looked great, he did a great job. But then he asked "but, mom, do I look handsome?".
"Of course you look handsome!!"
He smiled and went on his way.

We drove to school and as he was getting out of the car, he asked me if his hair looked good and "was it still moved to the side". I said yes, but had a feeling that perhaps there was a bit more to this hair thing than just vanity.

I volunteer in D's class every Thursday, so his teacher and I have a great relationship and so I told her about this mornings events and she smiled. She said that she has seen some interaction with another little girl in class. Hmmm we shall see where this leads. Do not despair Ms. Maura, you'll always be D's love (BUT, the girl does have the same name as your big sister).

Networking

I am on the hunt - the job hunt!  I'm posting my resume here on my blog for all to see.  Critique if you may, but mostly hoping that putting my resume out to as many facets as possible, someone will see it and recognize my talent for a full time position.

I'm looking for a full time position within Customer Service Management. I am also very qualified for an Executive Assistant position and have a resume for that as well. I was the first employee at Position Technologies, Inc., so I was the point-of-contact for the President/Owner of the company.
 

Highlights of Qualifications

Ø    Excellent organization, communication, and writing skills.

Ø    Sharp and creative in problem solving and needs/priority assessment.

Ø    Highly proficient with Windows, Microsoft Office, and familiar with Quickbooks

Career History

Preschool Teacher                            

2010 – present                             Mini School                                                                 Vancouver, WA

• Create monthly lesson plans
• Teach children basic skills:  fine motor, large motor, and social skills

Point of Sale                                         Kohl’s                                                                             Vancouver, WA

2009 – Present

• Cashier

 

Senior Account Manager                

2000 – 2006                                         Position Technologies, Inc. (www.positiontech.com)                  St. Charles, IL

• Managed customer support team – created training, team building, assisted with difficult customers.
• Designed and implemented customer service practices for Yahoo, Ask.com and MSN.
• Supported customer via calls and email for multiple products – Search Submit and Postion Pro.
• Trained new staff on all products within the company. 
• Sold a website optimization product, assisted customer with product usage, and maintained all accounts. 
• Managed daily office needs: reception, purchasing, administrative and HR responsibilities

Recruiter                                         

2000                                                            Randstad North America                                                      Naperville, IL

• Recruited individuals via cold calls, Internet prospecting, and referrals.
• Consulted candidates about resume, interviewing, and prospective job opportunities.
• Interviewed candidates for prospective job opportunities.

Customer Service Representative     

1997 – 2000                                         Perfect Plastic Printing                                                       St. Charles, IL

·      Managed a portfolio of 10 accounts, including 5 VIP accounts. 

·      Responsible for serving as an interface between sales, manufacturing and the customer. 

·      Gathered job-order information and assembled all elements required to enter job orders. 

·      Maintained communication with the customer, monitored job order progress and status from order initiation through delivery. 

Education

B.A., Lakeland College, Sheboygan WI 

Oreo

I wanted to write about Oreo while she is still with me because I don't know that I'll be able to do it when she is gone.  Oreo is my 12yo black lab mutt who has cancer and her time is running out.  I took her to the vet earlier this week and it was confirmed that the cancer has probably really spread throughout her body as her lymph nodes are enlarged.  So, the vet and I had a quality of life talk because I don't want Oreo to be suffering, but yet, I don't want to make a rash decision before it's necessary.  The vet gave me some great advice - quality of life means eating, drinking, pooping, peeing and enjoying her favorite things.  Especially the favorite things...if she is still doing the first 4 things, but stops doing her favorite things, then it's probably time.  The vet stated that it could be anytime. 

Oreo - you will be my one and only puppy that I buy from a pet store (there are too many animals in shelters/rescues that need homes).  You were 8 weeks old with this rolly poly tummy.  Little did we know that that tummy was actually full of gas and yucky stuff - we quickly found out as we were bringing you home and you pooped in the back of the Explorer... and not solid poops.  UGH!!  You were so small, that you fit between the slats of our picket fence.  We had to chicken wire the fence and unfortunately it was the chicken wire which blinded you in your left eye at just 10 weeks old.  You never let it hinder you and I'm guessing that 90% of people don't even know that you were blind. 

Once you were potty trained, M thought it was cute to have you sleep in bed with us.  You slept between his legs.  I stated to M that it's a bad idea b/c you're going to be a big dog.  My warning was brushed off and to M's dismay, you got big and he became uncomfortable having you sleep on the bed.  You always slept on his side and between his legs.  HA HA HA!!  When you got to be 70lbs, M tried to get you to sleep on the floor, but you were having NONE of that and jumped onto the bed.  Made your 3-5 circles, plopped down between his legs and started snoring.


When we brought you home, we already had a dog, Andra.  Little did we know that Andra really didn't like other dogs and she beat the crap out of you more than once, but you held your own and took the abuse.  We also had kitties Baxter and Amos who you became fast friends with.  I'm not sure what Amos will do when you are gone.  There are more than a few times per week that I walk in the door and find you and Amos cuddled together on the couch.  You are his best friend. 

Speaking of cuddling, you love sleeping in small spaces.  Must be from the crate training we did with you.  You would always find small spaces to curl up into - not easy for a large dog!  Boxes, suitcases, bathtubs.   The bathtub is your favorite and unfortunately with your age, you cant get into the bathtub easily these days.  Whenever we couldn't find you, we just had to look in the bathtub.

Oh the things you put up with.  First there was the bully Andra, then we got Sammy.  Sorry.  Sammy wasn't fixed when we brought him home and there were more than a few times Sammy "took advantage of you".  Sorry for that.  Around the age of 7, we got Dakota - an 8mo Malamute puppy.  You looked at us saying "are you kidding me?".  Dakota was full of energy and puppyism.  You had fun with him and put up with him biting your ears, pouncing on you and just being wild.  THEN, something even more sinister happened....a human baby was brought into your life!!  Oh boy!!

Oreo, you are D's cuddle buddy.  You allow him to lay on you, sit on you, pull your ears, cover you with blankets and more than once he tried to dress you up.  You would just lay there when multiple toddlers were poking at you, tripping over you or patting your head just a little harder than what you probably liked.  You just take it and even roll over on your back and get some belly rubs.

BFF's!  D is using Amos as a pillow.

Oreo, Amos and D napping together

You are also a smart dog, but also a little dumb.  I took you to advanced dog training which got you to do things just by hand signals.  If I raised my hand in the air, you laid down.   Arm out to the side and you'd sit.  If I said, "round round" you'd immediately walk to my left side and sit - ready to heel.   Heeling?  Nah, you never got that concept.  Pulling on the leash - always!!  UGH, I disliked walking you on a leash.  Even now, at 12, you still pull!! 

You have been a wonderful dog and companion.  You have always been a laid back dog who just allowed life to change without complaint.  You've been in 5 different houses in 2 different states.  You've been camping many times, you loved to swim, and I couldn't ever run out of raw hide bones in the house or you WHINED!!  WHINING, you've perfected the most annoying dog whining ever.  Even though it drives me crazy, I'll miss your whining.  I'll miss having you greet me at the door.  I'll miss seeing you and Amos cuddled together.  So many things I'll miss.  I'll be heartbroken to tell D about you no longer being here and he will be very sad (just as I will be)

As I sit here looking at you sleeping on the couch, I hope that you know you were loved.  I hope that we gave you a wonderful life - I know we did.  I've enjoyed every minute of having you in my life.  I may not always show it, but you do bring me joy. 

The Thing 2

As I posted a few weeks ago, D had THING attached to his face removed.  The biopsy found that it wasn't:  cancer, mole, wart, fungus.  The cultures did show up with a staph infection, but not MRSA and another bacteria, but she said it so fast I couldn't write it down.  It has been determined that Thing was just an infection that got out of control and never healed. 

Well, it's been 3 weeks, 10 days of specified antibiotics and I'm happy to say that THING is healing very very well.  I took D back to the dr. yesterday to have the bandage removed that was put on at the time of his surgery.  While D was very nervous and he did cry, he was a trooper!!  He sat on my lap, the dr. took a pair of tweezers and peeled the bandage off smoothly and quickly (this is where D cried).  Once it was off, she looked at Thing and WOW, it's all nice and pink with no infection found.  D was also interested in looking at Thing, so he scrambled off my lap to have a look in the mirror.   

The Dr. is very pleased with the healing.  She did not put another large bandage on it, instead he's got a medicated pad and then a regular band aid on top.  I'm to change the pad and band aid daily, so that should be interesting, but D will soon get used to it.  I took D to WalMart after the appt and he picked out the band aids that he wanted - Spiderman and Transformers.  The Dr. wants it kept covered until it is fully healed, so perhaps another few weeks of bandages and it looks as if Thing will soon be a "thing" of the past!

Annual Santa PIR visit

Early in December, we decided that it was a perfect time to take the kids to see Santa and drive through the PIR (Portland International Raceway) - each year they decorate the raceway and you can drive through it and see the lights. 

For the 3rd year (maybe 4th) D has seen the Santa at Pioneer Place.  We timed it perfectly and got downtown Portland just before 5pm.  Once we found parking and got into the mall, it was around 5:30.  Santa had NO line - again!!  WOO HOO!!  D quickly scrambled up onto Santa's lap, his list was spoken and Santa asked the some great questions - the normal "have you been good", but then some odd ones "have you been cleaning your room?" "brushing your teeth?"  Ha ha ha!!  I had to chuckle.  Next C and C climbed up onto his lap, lists were given and Santa was wonderful.  Last year was the first year that CE, at age 5, had even sat on Santa's lap.  This year there wasn't even hesitation on her part. 

Walking out of the mall, in the courtyard, it was "snowing".  The mall had rigged up foam machines on the 3rd floor and it was snowing in the mall.   The kids loved it!! 

On the road again, we headed up to PIR and again encountered NO lines!!  This night was shaping up perfectly!   It was so empty, that we opened the sun roof, kids stood up through it and we took pictures.  You're not allowed to stop during the drive through PIR, but with no one being there, we weren't told to move along.  Unfortunately, the pictures of the lights didn't come out.  We had the kids to stand under a huge archway, but the picture didn't turn out. 

Drag in the New Year!

Happy New Year everyone!  I still have Christmas stuff to post, but now that the fog of my hangover is gone, I'll start with my NYE fun.

C and I went out with our friends Cris and Christian for the 3rd year in a row.  We were supposed to have 9 people in our party, but it just ended up being the 4 of us for dinner.  Not just dinner, but a classy wonderful dinner of prime rib, bacon wrapped prawns, mini beef wellingtons, and spinach/mushroom stuffed manicotti.

Then we headed off to our favorite bar to ring in the New Year.  It's a mostly male gay bar that comes with some VERY interesting people.   About an hour after getting there, more friends arrived and the bar started to get crowded and the fun began.  C had been chatting via text with a coworker of hers who stated that we had to do a shot for her.  OK, off to the bar we went.  C had a foo foo jello shot, but not me.  Taquilla.  I did it with minimal UGH factor and not much ill after effects either.

Somewhere in the evening C ended up with a stray tagging along behind her.  Not just any stray, but a cross dressing straight man!  Sara - who liked brunettes and red heads....um, neither of us are "his/her type".  Unfortunately, no pictures were taken of Sara - alcohol had taken affect by then.

Drinking, dancing, laughing and having a wonderful time was had by all!!