To tell or not to tell? THAT is the question!

There is one question that all parents ask themselves a time or two during the course of their parenting life.  Do I tell my child that he's going to the Dr for a shot?  UGH!  It sucks.  Here are the pros and cons for both situations.  


Don't tell:
Pros:  No crying leading up to the nurse walking into the office with the needle
           No obsessive questions before "the deed"
           Very little drama ahead of time
Cons:  You didn't tell
            You've corrupted your child from ever wanting to return to the dr. 
            Your child now hates you (not always a bad thing, but for this it is)


Tell:
Pros:  Child won't believe that every trip to the dr is going to lead to a shot (even though during the first 4 years of their life it pretty much IS)
           You maintain trust with your child
           You can talk about what's going to happen and hopefully comfort their fears.  
Cons:  Endless drama prior to appt
            Tears and boogers 
            Drama
            Endless talking about how it's going to hurt worse than getting a leg cut off. (Did I mention - drama)

I opt to tell

I hadn't gotten D or myself flu shots yet this year and during cards last night, I learned that the flu has just started in the PNW and was expected to last until mid to late May.  I'm finally feeling 100%, so I made up my mind on the way to work today that D and I were going to get our vaccinations.  I called his Dr before getting D off the bus and unfortunately there was no mist vaccines available, so it was going to have to be the shot.  UGH.  That's what I get for waiting.  

The appt wasn't scheduled until 3:20, so I told D just after we got home from the bus (2pm'ish) what was going to happen.  He started to cry immediately.  We talked about what was going to happen and that it may or may not hurt.  I also told him that I was going to get a shot too, so we can each help the other.  I asked if he wanted me to go first or if he wanted to go first.  He opted for his shot being first....WOW!! 


D cried the whole way to the dr., while walking in to the office, waiting in the waiting room, walking to the exam room and through the entire process.  THANK GOODNESS that the nurses at Vanc. Clinic are very quick.  He was sitting in my lap and when the shot was over he looked at the nurse and said that she upset him so much he pee'd.  WHAT!!???  He's sitting in my LAP!!  My heart sank...UGH!  I felt his pants, dry.   I felt my pants, dry.  He didn't pee....yet....but he had to go...BAD!  Off he went to the potty.  PHEW!  I haven't been pee'd on in several years!!  The boy is almost 6!!  


After some running around doing errands, I got my shot and we went home.  Flu shots done for the year.  Hopefully, we dodged a flu bug bullet. 
          

Keeping you "a breast" on the situation

It's been a week and a half since C had her lumpectomy and it's been a tough recovery.  I'm baffled that my c-section scar is as long as her lumpectomy incision!!  Ummm, an almost 8lb baby came out of that sized incision, but a smaller than 2" fibroid took the same sized incision....doesn't seem right. 

The good news is that the biopsy results were completely negative.  The recovery time was much longer than anticipated and I was getting a bit worried. (recap from previous blog) The Monday of the procedure, C was probably still pretty doped up and amped up from andrenalen, so the pain was minimal.  Tuesday - was completely miserable for her.  Lots of pain meds and OTC pain relievers.  On Wed, she slept almost the whole day and starting that night it started to snow.  I didn't want her to even attempt going in to work for fear that she'd have to jerk the wheel of her car and causing her unnecessary trouble.  We woke to several inches of snow on the ground, schools closed, but C insisted on going into the office across town.  Off she went and less than an hour later she said that she was on her way back b/c the office was closed (no one had informed her of that information prior).  She did run into a sticky spot on the road and had to correct her car - thus jerking the wheel and causing severe pain.  She laid on the couch for the rest of the day.  Friday, she stayed home.   All weekend she laid on the couch or in bed taking her meds and being in severe pain.  I was getting worried at this point.  It had been almost a week and she was still needing to take Vicodin every 4-6 hours.  Plus, taking Ibuprophine in between.  I asked her to call the dr. on Monday if she was still in such pain. 

Off she went to work on Monday, but didn't last the entire day.  She made it to about 2pm and was told by her boss and coworkers that she looked like crap and to go home.  She did.  Her pain was lessening (only needing a V at night), but she was still tired.  Yesterday, she made it through an entire day and felt pretty ok. 

I don't think either one of us were expecting her recovery to last a week - especially when the Dr. says that most people go back to work in a day or two.  I felt so bad that she was hurting and there wasn't much I could do.  I entertained the kids, made meals and made sure she was covered with the new heating blanket.  That's about all I could do....THAT's a miserable feeling.  Hopefully, in the next week or so all the pain goes away and it's just a memory. 

It's a boobie blog

For over a year C has been pestered by a pain in her breast.  At first it was just a pain....not only a physical pain, but also a P A I N!     Last year she went to her PCP who blew her off and stated that she's too young to have anything wrong and didn't pursue the source of pain.  After many months of nagging pain and eventually the pain becoming a lump, she made an appt with an OB/GYN to have it looked at and she asked me to attend the appt so I could ask questions if C didn't.  The GYN found the lump almost immediately, made some faces and then ordered C to see a general surgeon and recommended to the surgeon to have an ultrasound and mammogram performed.  The GYN would have ordered the mammo/US, but because the lump was painful, only a general surgeon could remove it.

C saw the surgeon in January and he immediately stated that where the lump was located an U/S and mammo will not be a true indication of what this thing is.  PLUS, he said that b/c it was so painful to her, why not just go in and have it removed.  He wouldn't remove it if it wasn't so painful to her.  Surgery was scheduled.

The surgery was performed on Monday and everything went well (I have pre-op pictures, but have been threatened death if I publish them).   After several pre-op attempts at inserting an IV and resorting to using heat therapy, the nurse finally got an IV going.  We chatted, made jokes, and tried to get C's mind off of the procedure.  I didn't want to seem nervous, but I was.  This was C's first surgery and at that, she was going to be AWAKE!!  YIKES!!  That scared the dickens out of me and I wasn't even having the procedure done!  One nurse in particular didn't find me very funny when I whipped out my phone for pictures after she plopped the hair net cap onto C's head.  It was lopsided, like a berret....pictures were definitely in order!!  Just before wheeling her off to the OR, they gave her goofy meds and she says that she remembers being wheeled into the OR, moving to the OR table, her left arm being strapped down and that's it. 

Less than 45 min later, the Dr. came out of OR and stated that he was 99% sure that it was just a fibroid.  An hour later we were on our way back home.  I brought C back here with her drugs and set her up on the couch.  I had arranged to have D stay at his Daddy's on Monday (no school, it was Presidents Day).  Monday, C was feeling OK.  Not great, but not in a lot of pain either.  Tuesday....BAD!!  All of the stress/shock had worn off and the Vicodin wasn't touching her pain.  She had originally planned on trying to go back to work on Wed, but after Tuesday's awfulness, she decided to just stay home again.  Yesterday, she slept most of the day....literally, she was awake for less than 7 hours yesterday!! No vicodin yesterday, only Ibuprofen.

Woke up this morning to schools being closed and the roads a mess with a couple of inches of snow on the ground.  I didn't want C to even attempt driving into work because I didn't want her to have to jerk the steering wheel and hurt herself.  The woman has a mind of her own and off she went.  I received a text 30 min later stating that her office was closed and she was returning.  Low and behold, my prediction was right.  On her way into work, a car splashed water onto her windshield and she had to turn her wheel hard.  Now she's in pain again.  Vicodin on board and her butt on the couch.

Good news though....she called the dr. and it was just a benign tumor!!  PHEW!!!

GIRLS!!!  Do your regular breast checks.  When you do find something, don't allow a dr. to poo-poo you off.   Get the answers you seek - regardless if you feel you're the biggest bitch in the world.

2 girls, a bully and mama bear

As I mentioned in a previous blog, D has a crush on a girl in his class.  Julia, she is oh so sweet, bright, and funny.  However, another girl, Elliana, has a crush on D.  Oh the drama playing out in Kindergarten these days.  Yes, I know that I chased Jimmy Burger around Kindergarten trying to kiss him - got him a couple of times too....heehehehee. 

Anyways, D has been having issues with another little boy in his class.  This little boy has been pretty much bullying D.  Contradicting that D actually has a Bakugon Colossus, talking smack about his tennis shoes (umm, they're Nike's), stating that D is slow (as in running slow)....etc.  Basic Kindergarten stuff, but D has come home twice last week and cried about it.  DON'T pick on my boy! On Monday, I volunteered in D's class for their Valentine's Day party, and chatted with Mrs. Bates after school regarding J's behavior towards D.  The teacher hadn't seen anything happening in the classroom, but she wouldn't be surprised if that was happening.  She stated that she'd watch closely and see if she could see what's happening.  It took much strength not to take J aside and shake some sense into him and tell him to leave my boy alone....I didn't, but wanted too!! WELL, yesterday J was busted picking on D on the way to lunch!!  Mrs. Bates kept him inside from recess and had a heart-to-heart discussion.  J actually cried and felt sorry b/c he didn't realize that he had been hurting D's feelings.  I was also informed that J has been on a behavior support plan from the beginning of the school year, but doing much much better. 

I was in D's class today on my regular volunteer day and even worked with J one-on-one.  Hopefully this ends the bullying from J and a great remainder of Kindergarten year!!  

Inconceivable

Infertility - it's that "taboo" thing that people don't talk about. Instead it's whispered about, discussed in the media negatively when a woman has 8 babies or worse, not even discussed. EXCEPT infertility (IF) affects more people in this country than breast cancer. No, I'm not comparing infertility to having cancer, I wanted to show the stats, cuz we know the stats for women developing breast cancer.

I suffered through infertility - unexplained infertility. D is my 4th pg, but my only child and multiple dr's could not tell us why we couldn't get pg or why I couldn't maintain a pg. It's a hard, painful and emotional road to walk. It involves many dr. appts, shots, tests, being poked and prodded in so many ways and having the ups and downs of negative and positive pg results.  The yearning to have a baby is strong - especially when you suddenly realize that you can't!  The loss of control within your own body all the while having dr's and nurses telling you exactly what's going to happen takes its toll. 

If you haven't experienced IF please try to put yourself into this thinking mode. You're sooo excited to start trying for a baby. Every month you think "this is it" and then your period starts and you're sad.  You read everything on the internet regarding how to get pg...what foods to avoid, supplements to take, charting your cycle...etc.  Now, experience all of that month after month for perhaps years. Then you see multiple dr's, try different drugs that make you feel like you're going crazy, only to have the same things happen.

Luckily soon after I started the journey of trying for a baby I found a web board completely devoted to infertility. The women who belong to this VERY LARGE webboard have been through it all and are a great resource for everyday things.   There there is a core group of about 20,  it's been 11 years and we're still going strong. I have 'met' some wonderful people - some even in real life and I consider all of them friends. I'm here today to talk about one of my friends stories. Well, to promote her story and it is even more painful than anyone could imagine.

My friend C and her husband decided to use their frozen embryo's to have another baby. Their fresh cycle years before had been successful, so there was no reason that she shouldn't get pg with the embies they had saved. C went through all of the tests, drugs and procedures to ready her body for the transfer of these embryo's.  The embryo's had survived the "thaw" and 2 were transferred into C's uterus.   The 2 week wait began and ended up with a BIG FAT POSITIVE!!!  YIPPPEEEEEE!   She was thrilled.....until.

She and her husband, S, were told some devistating news, the baby that she was carrying was not hers.  The fertility clinic had thawed the wrong embryo's and transferred them to her.....and now she was pg with a baby that was not theirs.  Not only did the clinic thaw the wrong embies for her procedure, but the embryo's that C had frozen had been thawed and used in a failed cycle for another couple.   WHOOPS - I apparently had my info incorrect.   C's embies were not thawed by accident, but rather used by she and her hubby in a surrogate in which the surrogate did not conceive.  C and S made the ultimate sacrifice, they decided to proceed with the pg and deliver the baby only to turn around and give the baby to the couple which the embies belonged.  To terminate the pg means another couple has no chance to try for another baby, and C has NO chance to try for another cycle because her embryo's were already gone.  C and S not only had to suffer the loss of their embryo's, but then to make a difficult decision.

C gave birth to a health full term baby boy just over a year ago.  He is thriving in with his family, but that does not erase the pain that C and her family are experiencing every day.  Her pain cannot even be compared to a woman who decides that adoption is the best course for her baby because, I'm sure, that that woman has not experienced years of IF treatments and the deep yearning of having a baby. 

C and S's story will be profiled tonight (Friday, Feb 11) on Dateline NBC.  C and S have also written a book which will be coming out on Monday.  I know that I have cried many tears reading C's posts on our board, so I know I will be watching.  C is a dear friend who has experienced a loss that I could never imagine. 

Here is the youtube footage for tonight's Dateline.  I hope people watch and learn what true strength really is. 
http://www.youtube.com/user/carolynandseansavage?feature=mhum

Their book Inconceivable - A Medical Mistake, the Baby We Couldn't Keep, and Our Decision to Deliver the Ultimate Gift  goes on sale Monday.

Does the hair do do?

It may be that my little boy has a crush on a fellow classmate. I didn't really think anything of it until I was talking to D's teacher after class today.

As our typical mornings that I have to get ready for work, the routine is D eats breakfast, gets dressed and then brushes his teeth. Last night was bath night and he woke with a bit of a bed-head do. In the last few months, he's been taming his rooster look with some water, as he did today. However, he also parted his hair on the side and slicked it over. I was standing in the kitchen making his lunch and he appeared to ask how his hair looked. I said it looked great, he did a great job. But then he asked "but, mom, do I look handsome?".
"Of course you look handsome!!"
He smiled and went on his way.

We drove to school and as he was getting out of the car, he asked me if his hair looked good and "was it still moved to the side". I said yes, but had a feeling that perhaps there was a bit more to this hair thing than just vanity.

I volunteer in D's class every Thursday, so his teacher and I have a great relationship and so I told her about this mornings events and she smiled. She said that she has seen some interaction with another little girl in class. Hmmm we shall see where this leads. Do not despair Ms. Maura, you'll always be D's love (BUT, the girl does have the same name as your big sister).

Networking

I am on the hunt - the job hunt!  I'm posting my resume here on my blog for all to see.  Critique if you may, but mostly hoping that putting my resume out to as many facets as possible, someone will see it and recognize my talent for a full time position.

I'm looking for a full time position within Customer Service Management. I am also very qualified for an Executive Assistant position and have a resume for that as well. I was the first employee at Position Technologies, Inc., so I was the point-of-contact for the President/Owner of the company.
 

Highlights of Qualifications

Ø    Excellent organization, communication, and writing skills.

Ø    Sharp and creative in problem solving and needs/priority assessment.

Ø    Highly proficient with Windows, Microsoft Office, and familiar with Quickbooks

Career History

Preschool Teacher                            

2010 – present                             Mini School                                                                 Vancouver, WA

• Create monthly lesson plans
• Teach children basic skills:  fine motor, large motor, and social skills

Point of Sale                                         Kohl’s                                                                             Vancouver, WA

2009 – Present

• Cashier

 

Senior Account Manager                

2000 – 2006                                         Position Technologies, Inc. (www.positiontech.com)                  St. Charles, IL

• Managed customer support team – created training, team building, assisted with difficult customers.
• Designed and implemented customer service practices for Yahoo, Ask.com and MSN.
• Supported customer via calls and email for multiple products – Search Submit and Postion Pro.
• Trained new staff on all products within the company. 
• Sold a website optimization product, assisted customer with product usage, and maintained all accounts. 
• Managed daily office needs: reception, purchasing, administrative and HR responsibilities

Recruiter                                         

2000                                                            Randstad North America                                                      Naperville, IL

• Recruited individuals via cold calls, Internet prospecting, and referrals.
• Consulted candidates about resume, interviewing, and prospective job opportunities.
• Interviewed candidates for prospective job opportunities.

Customer Service Representative     

1997 – 2000                                         Perfect Plastic Printing                                                       St. Charles, IL

·      Managed a portfolio of 10 accounts, including 5 VIP accounts. 

·      Responsible for serving as an interface between sales, manufacturing and the customer. 

·      Gathered job-order information and assembled all elements required to enter job orders. 

·      Maintained communication with the customer, monitored job order progress and status from order initiation through delivery. 

Education

B.A., Lakeland College, Sheboygan WI